Joel 2:28

As I'm sitting in the doctors office, waiting for Stephanie and Jones the doctor approaches me.  Apparently there are some tests that need to be done to me as well; nothing to get worried about, just precautionary.  She lays be down on one of those super high tech hospital beds, the kind with all the hydraulic lifts and buttons that turn on the T.V. and close the blinds.

She wastes no time getting me all geared up: Oxygen mask? Check! Safety glasses? Check! Helmet? Check!  She then positions herself around to the head of the bed and with all the strength she can muster, from underneath the bed, she reaches up and around wraps her arms across my head.  Before I have a chance to think about what is happening the bed starts to move.  My head is lowered, my feet are raised, I go from seeing the ceiling, then the wall behind me, now I'm seeing the floorboard.  I grab the handrails on the bed and not a second too soon.  Before I know it the floor is looking me square in the face.  I don't know how, or even why, these beds can do this but I am completely upside down, and holding on for dear life might I add.  The bed slowly makes its rotation back to normal laying position.

I barely get a little breather in when the doctor tells me she's going to need to conduct a stress test.  The bed starts moving again, but this time it's being raised toward the ceiling.  I had forgotten that the doctor was under the bed, or that she was even holding my head down but she was most definitely still there, and judging by the death grip she had on my head I don't think her feet were on the floor anymore.  We kept moving higher and higher.  I had my eyes closed because of the immense pressure on my head but then something smashed my face.  Nose first, I was pushing up one of the acoustic tiles that made up the ceiling.

The bed stopped and the doctor, still hanging from the head of the bed, yells something at me.  I really can't hear her though, for one because my head was on the other side of the ceiling, but now there was an incredibly loud box fan blowing right in my ear.

  

I yell back at her, "WHAT?!"

"TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU CAN PICTURE!!!!"

Everything I can picture?  What does that even mean?  Everything I can see?  I guess.  I see a florescent light fixture to my right, the little metal rail the holds the ceiling tiles up, the ceiling tile that my face is being smashed into, another metal rail, another ceiling tile that has a fire sprinkler coming out of it, another metal rail and to my far left another florescent light fixture.

The doctor lets the bed down, has me sit up and says, "How do you feel?"

Seriously? I didn't really feel all that stressed throughout that whole episode but I was a little freaked out.

I tell the doctor, "Fine."

She needed to step out of the room and calculate my results.  As I'm looking around the room I notice a giant gob of pink bubble gum stuck to the ceiling.  It was stuck to the light fixture that was to my right.

"How did I miss that?" I know that wasn't there when I was up there. "I totally failed the test!"

The doctor comes back into the room with a very serious face. I knew it, I failed.  Heart attack, stroke, high cholesterol, what could it be?

She gives me the diagnosis, "It looks like you have a pretty serious case of hyperventilation."

Oh no! I don't believe it!  It can't be, my heart wasn't beating fast and I know I wasn't breathing that hard.  She explains to me that my family records show a pretty serious run of hyperventilation in my whole family - my dad's side.

It's a hard pill to swallow, but I'm on medication now, and my dad is going in for a test next week.  Hopefully we can get a hold on this so the next generation won't suffer the way we have.

Clothes of Righteousness

Deuteronomy 22:5

"A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the LORD your God."

Why?

Admittedly, I once owned a pair of distressed, stone washed, paint splattered, boot-cut girl jeans. They looked good and they don't make jeans like that for men.  At least not for any less than $200.

When I read this I was not as concerned with how this statement in God's law affects me.  Not any more than not wearing any clothing made of different materials or cutting the hair on my temples.  (Deut 22:11 and Lev 19:27 respectively.)  The death and resurrection of Jesus Christ has taken care of those things.  But my concern was with the Israelites who lived with this law.

Was cross dressing a big problem while they traveled through the desert?  Was God being proactive against a perversion that was going to happen down the road?  And for this act to be an abomination to the Him, that's serious!  Or is this statement more about living simply, living true and honestly?  In context this verse is surrounded by commands to take care of animals and your neighbors and your neighbor's animals.  So it would seem likely that this law, as with most other laws, it is to establish a culture of purity.  The law speaks again and again of purging the evil among you.  Leaving an injured animal or wearing the wrong shirt is not, itself, evil, though when your eyes are fixed on the things of the Lord kindness prevails and the hottest fashions are not worth worrying about.

Maybe I should be more concerned with how this law does in fact affect me.  I no longer own any article of clothing that was intended for a woman, and I don't really intend to purchase such an article again.

May the clothes on your back be a reflection of your love for God.  May you never be bogged down by the expected fashions of men, but rather freed by the law and endless love of the Lord.

Light is Everywhere!

Psalm 36:9

I found something amazing today.   A scientific breakthrough.  An absolute marvel.  I have discovered that light is everywhere!

I had a hard time falling asleep tonight so I left the bedroom in search of something more interesting than it's ceiling.  It didn't take long for me to stumble out and trip on the new tripod I bought today at a thrift store for $5.  Pretty much the same tripod I was looking at earlier in the day for ONLY $34.99.  My camera was already mounted to it and I quickly found that I had left it on, so it seemed like a logical toy to play with.  The only problem was I have a pregnant, sleeping wife in the next room so I don't want to turn on any lights and start making a bunch of noise.

Here comes the breakthrough.

A low light situation + Tripod + Long exposure = decent picture.  right?  8 seconds, nah, way too dark.  An 8 second exposure left me with an image that is pretty true to real life, but dark and void of an real detail.  Certainly does not make for a photograph worthy of the family album.

So I keep extending the exposure time.  Up to 30 seconds, which is the longest automatic shutter speed my camera has.  Still pretty dark.  You can see figures and a little bit of the color in the room but not enough to keep the picture around for any longer than it takes to push the trash button.  So I switch to manual mode and hold down the shutter button for 1 minute and 15 seconds.  And there it is!  Light!  Light like the light at sunrise.  bright and warm.  Impossibly bright and warm.  I can't believe what my two inch display is telling me.  There is enough light there, to look like that?

For 5 seconds my camera allowed me to review this picture before the screen went to black again.  But a 5 second review was all I needed to see, and to know, that there was light here.  When all I can see is a nearly pitch black room, through the right eyes there is abundant light to be seen.

"For with you is the fountain of life; 
   in your light we see light.

Continue your love to those who know you,

  your righteousness to the upright in heart.

May the foot of the proud not come against me,

  nor the hand of the wicked drive me away."

Ps. 36:9-11